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POOR LITTLE JACK’S THIRD ATTEMPT FOR A SUCCESSFUL BAR MITZVAH

IT HAD BEEN A HAPLESS REOCCURRENCE... A SEEMINGLY REPETITIVE AND PURPOSEFUL ATTEMPT ON THE PART OF THE VIRGIN TO REDIRECT ANY INTENSION’S OF ENDING POOR JACK’S PROBATIONARY STATUS AND CONSUMMATING HIS TENURE AS THAT OF AN ADULT...

AND COOKIE? THOUGH PERENNIALLY YOUNG AND NOT YET AWARE HER DESTINY WOULD BE THAT OF IMMUNITY FROM SUCH IRE, HAD BEEN THANKFUL SHE HAD WORN HELEN’S MISS DOG AMERICA PAGEANT CROWN... NAUGHTY BETTY HAD SNITCHED IT FROM HELEN’S ROOM EARLIER ON... HAD PRESENTED IT TO COOKIE... HAD ASSURED COOKIE THAT WEARING IT WOULD RENDER HER INVISIBLE...

IT WAS ALL TERRIBLY COMPLEX... ONE, IN ORDER TO EVEN BEGIN TO UNDERSTAND, WOULD HAVE HAD TO AT LEAST HALFWAY BEEN THERE...